Is it Fate?
by Mary Kate113
Summary: Bella reacts differently in New Moon when she realizes that Edward might leave her.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Bella reacts differently from the kiss at the end of the second chapter of New Moon.

AN: So this idea struck me when I was reading New Moon for like the fortieth time because I always get really angry at Bella's reaction at the end of chapter 2 and beginning of chapter 3. So this starts off at the end of chapter 2 of New Moon and goes on its own path from there. So far this is all that I have written, but I wanted to see if there was any interest out there. So please read and review and let me know what you think! Thanks.

Disclaimer: I own nothing. This was written for purely entertainment value (and we shall see if it even has that…)

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Chapter 1

That kiss was too good. He pushed himself too far. Farther than he normally would. Something was wrong.

I'm lying awake in Edward's cold hard arms thinking about the kiss we just shared. It isn't sitting right with me. Don't get me wrong, it was great. Better than great; spectacular. But it wasn't right. He never, and I mean NEVER pushes himself that far with me. Something is wrong.

I can't sleep and I'm almost positive Edward knows that I'm awake. He has told me before that he can tell when I fall asleep. Something about my breathing and my heart beat staying even no matter how close he gets to me. I pretend to be mad when he tells me that he does experiments with me to see what he can get my heart to do. Really though, I find it endearing.

But the kiss. It was wrong. Edward is staying as still as ever while I try to comprehend the meaning behind the kiss that he just gave me. The best kiss of my life. It started out normally, with my heart racing. And that seemed to spur him on to increase the intensity of the kiss. He allowed me to get much closer to him than I ever had before. It was amazing.

And then I realized.

I'm sure the sudden jolt that went through my body as the realization hit me did not go unnoticed by Edward. However, he didn't say or do anything in response. He continued to lay next to me, motionless as ever, while my heart pounded away and I began nearly hyperventilating.

I attempted to spring from his iron grasp but all I achieved was a greater stinging to my injured arm as I pushed against his torso. He wasn't paying attention to me. He was far away from this moment. Had he been focused on me and not preoccupied with his thoughts he would have noticed the signs that I was no longer attempting to sleep. Now I was panicked, all because of a stupid kiss.

The jolt to my arm made me scream out in pain. That seemed to bring him back to the moment.

"Bella?" He questioned, because he didn't know what had caused the scream.

"What's wrong?" He questioned again because the only response he'd received after the first was my continued struggling against his arms. I'm not sure why, but my realization came with the sudden need to assert myself, and that couldn't be done while cuddling against him.

"Let go of me!" I nearly screeched as my frustration built from being trapped in his embrace. After hearing the panic in my voice he immediately realized that I was trying to escape his arms, while he had unknowingly held me tighter with his vampire strength.

As soon as I was free I sprang from the bed and was across the room within seconds. I leaned against my bedroom door and looked up at the bed to see his confused expression at my sudden panic.

We continued staring at one another for longer as my heart continued to pound away. "Bella, what is the matter?"

"You bastard!" I meant for the accusation to come out as a yell that could have intimidated a vampire. However, because my chest was still heaving, it came out as a pathetic cry.

Edward looked extremely hurt the second the words had crossed my lips, but that did not stop the anger and the frustration that I felt towards him. His brow furrowed and he looked incredibly sexy as he sat on the edge of my bed, ready to reach out to me at the first sign that such an action would be acceptable.

"I can't believe you." I said, once my breathing was under more control. I probably had tears in my eyes as I made the statement. "You are going to leave me over this, aren't you?" I didn't mean for there to be a question attached to that. But, for some reason, my mouth was in cahoots with my heart, not my mind.

"Bella." Edward dropped his eyes from mine and began studying the rug that was beside my bed. The tone he'd used was one of repentance and sadness.

"That was a goodbye kiss Edward! Wasn't it? That was the exact same kiss you gave me right before I left for Phoenix last spring! That was when you thought you would never see me again. You just gave me a goddamn goodbye kiss!" I was outraged, and I was ranting. It seemed as though saying the words aloud had given my whole idea that much more real.

As I ended my statement with a screech I briefly wondered if Charlie could hear our conversation. But, with the silence that followed I could hear his loud snores coming from the living room where he had fallen asleep on the sofa.

"Bella, it isn't safe for you. Tonight simply proved that fact." His voice was calm; I didn't like the look that was in his eyes. He looked defeated. This was no longer my Edward; he didn't look at me in the same way. His eyes looked cold and hard, like actual pieces of gold, which contrasted greatly with the warm honey that I was used to seeing.

"Edward," For some reason saying his name to the person sitting before me was difficult, the word caught in my throat. This wasn't my Edward sitting in front of me. My Edward would never have admitted so easily that he was giving up on us. "You saved me tonight, that is what happened at the party. I was perfectly safe; I never worried for a moment. Jasper may not have his blood lust under the best control, but we all know that none of you would have let anything happen. You, Carlisle, Alice, Emmett and Esme did not, and would never have let Jasper do anything to me. Hell, even Rosalie protected me tonight, and we both know that Rosalie hates me." Again, I was rambling, but this situation was far beyond my comprehension at the moment. The fact that he doubted himself and his family was incredibly unsettling.

"That isn't the point. You shouldn't have to be protected from my brother, or any other member of my family. If we were a normal human family, all I would have to worry about is my brother hitting on you, not killing you." Edward's eyes reached mine again as he was speaking and I began to see the smallest spark of a fire starting once again in the depths of his eyes. Some relief washed through me, but panic was still touching nearly every one of my nerves.

He was starting to get irritated with me, at the fact that I never shied away from him or his family. This was a fact that had always exasperated him. I'd known that since the beginning.

"Are we back to that? I thought the fact that you were a vampire was settled last spring. You said that you would never leave me!" I'm sure my face was now contorted in anger and pain, but I didn't pause long enough to care about that. "There is an easy way to fix this problem; you won't ever have to be concerned about any of your family members killing me again."

He scoffed as soon as he saw where my statement was going. "Bella, I will not take away your soul! I cannot kill you for my own selfish reasons. You have a life, a family and I can't be responsible for taking you from them." He was no longer seated on my bed. As his voice grew louder, he stood up so that we could be eye to eye for this argument. "Why can't you be afraid of us like everyone else? Why do you keep putting yourself in situations where you are likely to get hurt?" Although I could see the anger growing in his glare, his tone was one of desperation.

"Because Edward, I love you." I was beyond frustrated that this fact was not obvious to him. Why did he have to ask those questions? He already knew the answer. I'd declared my love for him out loud numerous times.

"I'm no good for you Bella, and neither is my family. All we can manage to do is put you in danger."

"Oh my God! Would you stop being so damn pessimistic?" I yelled. Actually yelled, for the first time tonight by mind and mouth seemed to be on the same page and I actually achieved the volume I was going for. "Who cares if you have put me in danger in the past? I survived. And the pain I went through was nothing compared to what I would have been faced with had I not had you in my life."

"Bella, you are human. Time forces you to move on from certain events. You will be able to get over me easily and move on to live a normal human life." Again with the desperate tone. He was killing me with that. Angry and desperate all at the same time. I think he was desperate for me to talk him out of the decision that he had already made, he didn't want to leave me, but from his point of view, that was the only option he had.

"Fine." I'm sure the tears that had been welling in my eyes since the realization hit me were now streaming down my cheeks in full force. The look of surprise on his face clearly said that he had not expected me to give up that easily. Little did he know…

"Do you remember what you told me this afternoon? While we were watching Romeo and Juliet?" My question stumped him, but only for a second as he quickly realized where I was going with the question.

He didn't speak. He simply nodded his head to indicate that he clearly remembered our conversation that had taken place while watching the movie. "What makes you think that I can live without you? What makes you think that I would even want to?"

A look of sadness crossed his features. Maybe he hadn't expected me to go THERE. "Bella." That was all he said.

Was that supposed to be an answer? I studied his face for a few long moments, our eyes were connected, but it didn't seem like he was going to add anything to that statement. I had nothing else to add to our conversation until I received an answer so I simply gazed back into his eyes, crossed my arms and leaned back against the wall to show that I was still waiting.

"You don't need me as much as you think you do." It had taken him several long minutes to come up with those gems of words as he stared at me.

I rolled my eyes. I should have known that he would come up with something like that. "You can't read my thoughts Edward Cullen. You have no idea how entirely I need you!" My scoff was apparently not what he had wanted to hear, but I couldn't care less. "If you don't want me then that's fine."

I honestly don't know what possessed me to say that. It clearly was NOT fine. He would have to be a fool to believe that. He stepped towards me for the first time since our argument began. I must have lost some of the anger behind my words because as he came towards me I noticed that the spark that had ignited earlier in his eyes had now turned to a small ember.

Well, at least that was better than nothing.

"Trust me Bella, my want for you is not this issue here." He was now nearly two feet away from me. The tone that he had just used indicated that he wanted to reach out and wipe the tears off my cheek but he knew that it would be an inappropriate move for the situation.

"Yes it is! You are the one leaving me!" I took a shaky breath, "You are the one that is ending this!" Again I took another heaving breath. "Well fine Edward, we can do this your way. I don't want to have to convince the man I love to stay with me. So you can get the hell away from me now." I turned my back to him and walked out of my bedroom. I didn't even have the courage to look back at his face.

Mostly, I didn't want to see the expression on his face. I wanted to imagine that he was sad about our relationship ending. I didn't want to know if he looked happy or relieved. I just wanted to believe that he was going to be depressed. Just like me.

I hadn't slammed the door when I walked out of my room, I wasn't sobbing as I trudged down the stairs. Silent tears were streaming down my cheeks as I hit the end of the stairs and saw Charlie's still sleeping form on the sofa.

How had he not woken up through that argument?

It was then that I realized that I may not have spoken with the same about of indignation and anger that I thought I had. Damn.

I tip-toed into the kitchen, there was no reason to wake him up now and have him ask questions about why I was crying. I pulled out a couple of cookies that I had baked a few days ago, poured myself a glass of milk and sat down at the kitchen table. I stared at nothing as I munched on my cookies and sipped my milk.

Somehow, this seemed like the perfect situation for milk and cookies.

I didn't know where this was going to lead, what was going to happen now?

Would the Cullen's leave altogether? If not, would Edward and Alice continue to go to school in Forks? Would I still be tortured with seeing him every day?

The house phone rang suddenly which broke my thoughts immediately. I glanced at the clock as I moved to answer the phone quickly so it wouldn't wake Charlie. It was after midnight, who would be calling?

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Please let me know what you think!

Thanks -MaryKate


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who commented and added me to their favorites. I appreciate all of the support. Once again, please read and review!

Chapter 2

"Hello," I answered in a quiet voice, still not wanting to wake Charlie.

"Bella! I'm so sorry all this is happening!" Alice exclaimed from the other end of the phone. I should have known it was Alice, she probably saw the argument coming from a mile away.

"Hey Alice." I greeted her once again, just because I wasn't really ready to talk about anything that just happened.

"What just happened? I only saw the very last part when you told Edward to get the hell away from you, and then you walked out." Alice was speaking very fast, shocker—I know, she was definitely panicking about this. "Are you mad at us? I'm so sorry about what Jasper did. He is calm now, he feels terrible. He is making everyone else feel terrible too."

"Alice," I said quietly.

She continued talking though, she was definitely panicked. "Jasper and I are in Denali right now, but I can be back in thirty minutes. I'm so, so sorry about all of this, but you shouldn't be worried. None of us would have let anything happen to you, including Edward. He is the one that protected you."

"Alice." I tried to interrupt her once again, but she was on a roll. I don't think she was ever planning to stop talking.

"Is that why you don't want him around? Do you feel unsafe with us now? I guess I couldn't blame you for that; we are all pretty shaken up about this right now." All of a sudden she paused, like she just realized she hadn't been receiving answers to any of her questions.

Neither of us spoke for a minute, but I finally broke the silence. "Alice?"

"Yes?" Her voice was as sweet and perfect as ever, she seemed to have calmed down a bit from her speech.

"Which question would you like me to answer first?"

She took an unnecessary breath as she was taking the time to think it through. That was probably just for my benefit."What happened between you and Edward when he took you home?"

I was slightly surprised that she had seen so little of the sequence of tonight's events, but I guess she was probably pretty preoccupied with Jasper. Who could blame her? I certainly couldn't. "Can you tell if he is still in the house?" I asked. For some reason I didn't want him to hear my retelling of events even though he already knew them, and would probably just get them from Alice's thoughts later.

There was another pause for a moment, I think she was trying to get a vision of her brother. "No, he left a few moments after you did. Right now he, Carlisle and Emmett are running."

"Running where?" I asked, I may not have wanted to convince Edward to stay with me, but I certainly didn't want him and the rest of the Cullens to leave. They were a part of my life now, my family, they couldn't go anywhere.

"I'm not sure, Edward just started running and the vision I got was of Carlisle and Emmett joining him. Maybe they are hunting?" Alice suggested, yet somehow I knew that she didn't really believe it herself. "Now tell me what happened?" She questioned again.

And so I did, I gave her all the gory details about the kiss and my thoughts and laying in bed with him and yelling at him. As I told her the chain of events she stayed perfectly quiet. And trust me; no one can stay quiet like a vampire. Judging from her silence, a feat that the pixie was hardly ever able to achieve, I could tell that she was hanging on to my every word. I hope that meant that she didn't want us to be separated any more than I did.

It only took a few minutes to get from beginning to end, but by the end I realized that I was proud of myself for the way that I stood up to Edward. I have always had a notoriously weak back bone when it came to standing up for myself. But I didn't let him push me around, or convince me that he was right, because I knew that he wasn't. Edward and I were meant to be together, maybe not right now, but someday we would be.

"Wow, my brother is a bonehead." I could hear the smile through her voice, and for some reason that made me chuckle a little bit too. That wasn't the response that I had been expecting. "You are the best thing that ever happened to him. I can't believe he is willing to let you go."

I didn't know what to say to that, because I was not willing to let him go. We may be apart for now, but eventually he would want me back. At least I hoped so.

"How is Jasper?" I changed the subject.

Once again she sighed deeply, "He feels extremely guilty." By the way she said that I could tell that Jasper was not the only one.

"Alice, tell him that it's okay. I'm not mad at him; I completely understand why it happened." And in truth, I did. It wasn't his fault, it was nobody's fault. Accidents happen; I can't blame him for losing control.

"I would tell him that, but I think it might just make him feel more guilty." Her voice sounded sad, almost like she wished I were mad at him.

"How are you, Alice?" I asked.

I'm guessing from the silence that ensued after my question, that no one had asked her that tonight. I could understand why no one had asked, she technically wasn't a main player in tonight's events. "I'm fine, Bella." Her voice was suddenly thick with emotion.

"No you aren't." I'm not sure why I chose to call her on the bull shit answer, but she is the one that called me to talk.

She laughed half heartedly through her sadness at my response. "No, I guess you're right. I'm not fine."

"I'm not mad at you either Alice. And to answer your earlier question, I still feel perfectly safe around all of you Cullens."

She continued to giggle a little bit more at my response. "You know, I think I have to agree with my brother on one thing, you certainly don't have a very clear sense of danger." I could hear weird noise in the background, and I got the sense that she was saying this in order to stall for more time. She must have been running out of the house, whatever she was about to say, she didn't want anyone else hearing.

"What's up, Alice?" I asked after a few more moments of silence. I assumed by that time she was far enough away from the others to speak freely.

"I'm mad a Jasper." Alice said simply, the emotion in her voice still very much present.

"Oh, Alice."

"I'm mad at Jasper, and I have never been mad at him before. I don't know what to do." She sighed. She needed to vent, so I let her continue. "I know he isn't very good at the vegetarian thing, but I just really, really want him to get better. I'm tired of having to worry about all of this; I'm tired of having to run away to seclusion every time he almost has an accident. It has been more that fifty years. And, sometimes I just feel like…he isn't trying."

"Alice, he is trying." I re-affirmed for her, even though I had no real way of knowing that. To my knowledge he had never tried to kill me before that seemed like pretty good proof to me.

"Bella, I love him with all my heart. But, every once in awhile I can't help but wonder what it would be like to life care free. To not have to constantly worry about his blood lust, if he's gone hunting enough, or if he will kill my best friend." At that moment, if Alice could cry I am sure she would have been. "Bella, I am so sorry."

For a moment, I was stunned into silence. I knew she needed to vent, but I didn't think that was where it was going to lead. "Ali-ice," I croaked out attempting to find my voice. "This isn't your fault, it isn't Jasper's fault, you can't blame anyone for this. It was an accident." I let that statement hang for a moment before I added, "Plus, I've been injured worse walking down a flight of stairs." I hoped it would lighten the mood. She laughed, but I can't tell if it was genuine or out of pity. Either way I guess I achieved my goal.

We continued talking throughout the night, but we moved on to much lighter subjects. It was kind of nice just being able to talk without being interrupted. It turned out that Alice was sitting in the middle of a wooded area while she was talking to me so that she wouldn't be heard.

"Bella, I think I'm going to come back tomorrow. I can't stay in Alaska with Jasper this time." Alice said, somewhat out of the blue as we had just been talking about how I should get my hair cut.

"Are you sure that is what you want to do?"

"I think so."

"Okay, but maybe you should tell Jasper why you don't want to be there this time. It might help both of you if he knows how you feel about all of this." Since I didn't get an immediate reaction out of her I was slightly concerned about how my statement would be received.

"Yeah, I guess he deserves to know how I feel about all of this." She conceded. There was a brief pause in our conversation and I looked out the kitchen window.

"Holy crap, the sun is starting to rise!" I exclaimed over the phone. I checked the clock on the microwave and discovered that it was nearly 6am. I have never stayed up all night talking to a girlfriend.

"I'm sorry, Bella" Alice said with a genuine laugh. "Sometimes it's really easy to forget that you are human." It was good to hear her happy again, I wasn't used to depressed Alice. I preferred the pixie like happiness much more.

"I bet you are the only one in your family that can say that." I laughed along with her.

"Alright Bella, go to sleep. I will see you in a few hours." Alice responded. Now, I was really curious to hear how her conversation with Jasper would go.

"Goodnight." I hung up the phone and began to move from my place that the kitchen table. As I walked through the living room towards the staircase I noticed that Charlie was no longer asleep on the sofa and briefly wondered at what point he woke up and went to bed. However, that thought was somewhat short lived as I realized how completely exhausted I was. I had been awake for nearly twenty four hours, and in that time so much had happened.

The stair case felt as though it was a mile long as I trudged by way up. When I finally made it to my room I collapsed on my bed and passed out almost immediately.


End file.
